Wicked Wolf Page 11

  “No, I guess I didn’t. What I wanted before I met you doesn’t really matter anymore. What I want now is to find a way to be happy. You don’t love me, and I don’t love you. We’re wolves, not humans. We can find a way to enjoy sex and not hate ourselves for it. As for what comes after a few years of us being together?” She shrugged. “I don’t know, but I know I’m not going to punish you for it. You’re punishing yourself enough for it.”

  Goddess, this woman was something else. She was so strong, yet he didn’t think she knew it. He turned the heat down on the stove then moved to wash his hands. After he dried them, he prowled toward her. She stood as stiff as a statue, yet he didn’t stop. When he cupped her cheek, she parted her lips.

  “You are something else, Gina. You are the strongest wolf I know, and I’ve met a lot of strong wolves. The fact you’re sacrificing a future you could have for Jesse…” He let out a breath. “I don’t think I could ever repay you.”

  She licked her lips, and his gaze followed the movement. “Just don’t hate me,” she said so low he wasn’t sure he heard her right.

  His thumb rubbed her cheek, and he nodded slowly. “I don’t hate you, Gina.” She sucked in a breath, and he cursed himself for his rage before. “I hate what Helena and the witch who helped her did to me. Did to Jesse. But I don’t hate you.”

  She met his gaze, and he hoped she saw the truth in his words. “Don’t hate who I am, then. Can you do that? Can you get over what happened and know that I’m wolf, witch, and woman?”

  He searched her face for a long while then nodded, knowing it was the truth. “I can do that, Gina. I can treat you as Gina, if you can treat me as Quinn. Can you forgive me?”

  She lifted up on her toes then brushed her lips against his. His wolf pressed against his skin, craving more. “You need to stir the meat,” she said once she went back to the flat of her feet. “I’ll start the eggs.”

  He hesitated, then nodded. She hadn’t said she’d forgiven him, but he didn’t blame her. He’d cut right to the bone, but he’d do everything in his power to prove that he was worthy of her…even if he couldn’t risk his heart.

  He’d already lost everything, and he didn’t know if he could do it again. Not fully. Only time would tell.

  They finished making breakfast while speaking of Pack duties and council matters. They didn’t discuss what would happen next or even what would happen the next day. Things were going to change in every way possible. He was going to leave his Pack, his home, and his friends to protect his son. The fact that he would so willingly do that shocked him, yet he knew it shouldn’t have.

  Jesse was more important than anything.

  Even himself.

  After breakfast, they did the dishes and then stood next to one another, the tension rising again. He cupped her face and let out a breath when she let him, this time even leaning into his palm.

  “You know the two steps of mating, right?” he asked, his voice low. Best to get the formalities out of the way since they were both nervous.

  She nodded. “We will each mark one another so our wolves will be bonded, and then when we make love, you’ll release inside me, sealing the other half of the bond.”

  Make love.

  He liked those words on her lips.

  It sounded better than fucking or sex. It sounded as if they were actually going to try and be normal rather than going about this in all the worst ways possible.

  He nodded then tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear with his other hand. “Then Kade, most likely, will perform a mating ceremony when we’re both ready.” He swallowed hard. “It might be best to do that once Jesse and I are fully Redwoods, rather than confusing the Talon issue.” It broke something inside him to say that, but he knew the Brentwoods and the rest of the Talons would eventually be okay with his decision. It wasn’t as though there was another one to make.

  Some people might have thought he’d be the one to stay within his Pack because he was the male, but those people were idiots. Gina was the one with the fated position, the one with the bond to her Pack that would eventually lead to even more strength and dominance. He would find a way to fit in because he had to. There was no way he’d make her give up her Pack when she was giving up everything else.

  Maybe she’s not giving up everything. Maybe she could be happy with you.

  That small voice in his head startled him, but he pushed it away. He didn’t need those kinds of thoughts.

  “Are you sure you’re ready to leave the Talons?” she asked.

  He nodded. “For Jesse…and for you, yes I am.

  Her eyes widened, and she smiled. Just a small smile, but he felt as if it was the largest of victories.

  “And it’s not like I’m leaving my Pack behind in all ways,” he added. “The Talons and Redwoods are forming even more of a unit than they had before. That’s why we have the council.” That’s why they had met.

  She nodded. “We can talk about all of that once we make more plans,” she said. “I think…I think…” She didn’t finish her sentence. Instead, she wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him toward her. Her lips pressed against his, and he lowered his head, leaning into the kiss.

  His wolf whimpered, begging for more. He cupped her face fully then slanted his mouth over hers. She opened for him and tentatively touched her tongue to his. He growled then deepened the kiss.

  She tasted of stir-fry and sweetness, and he craved more. He forced himself not to dwell on what would happen next. If he did, he’d pull away and run like the coward he was. He knew she’d never love him; she couldn’t, not when he’d pushed her away like he had that first time.

  He wouldn’t allow himself to love her. He couldn’t risk it.

  Again, he pushed those thoughts away and focused on the woman in his arms. They might not have the mating wolves dreamed about, but he refused to ruin everything in the meaning of this moment. Gina deserved better.

  He pulled away then rested his forehead against hers. “You taste amazing,” he said softly.

  “Don’t use the pretty words you don’t mean,” she said, her voice cracking.

  Annoyed, he pinched her chin and forced her gaze to his. He felt her wolf rise, buck at his challenge, but she didn’t pull away. “I’m not going to lie to you. We’re both being honest about why we’re doing this, but I’m not going to allow you to be hurt any more than you are. I won’t lie about what is happening, what I need, what I crave. I expect you to do the same. We have centuries together, and I’m not about to make you suffer during them.”

  She searched his face then nodded. “Fine,” she said softly.

  Good enough. He nodded then crushed his mouth to hers. She yelped then sank into him. He tangled his hand in her hair, gripping it so he could take control. She pushed against him, biting his lip.

  “I’m not a submissive wolf, Quinn,” she panted. “You don’t get to take control.”

  He grinned then, his wolf coming to the surface. “Good. I want you to push back. I don’t need you on your knees unless you want to be. The thought of you on your knees when I pump into you from behind turns me on though. When I fuck your mouth or your pussy, I want you to be right there with me. I want your hands on my body, your nails scoring my back. I want you to fuck me as hard as I fuck you. Sound good?”

  Her pupils dilated, and she bit her lip. He leaned down and licked the spot she’d bitten, wanting a taste.

  “You’re going all in, aren’t you?”

  He kissed up her jaw then licked her earlobe. “I’m in this for the long haul.” With his body and his soul. He had no choice in the matter, and if he thought about it hard enough, he knew he didn’t want the choice. His heart, though, that would have to be hidden from her. He couldn’t risk losing himself again when Gina thought more about what she was doing.

  He didn’t know if he could survive that.

  Because while he’d loved Helena with the heart of a young man, Gina was turning out to be everything he wa
nted in a wolf.

  That was dangerous.

  “Then fuck me,” she said. “Mate with me.”

  He put his hands on her ass then lifted her up. Her legs went around his waist, and his cock pressed against her heat. “Yes.”

  She kissed him while cupping his face. He nipped at her then kissed her back, all the while carrying her back to his bedroom.

  He’d never brought a woman to his room. Helena hadn’t lived here since he’d moved out of his place as soon as he could. It had been five long years since he’d been buried within a woman, and now he was starting to feel a bit nervous. Honestly, with the way Gina was wrapped around him, he wasn’t sure how long he’d last.

  He set her down at the foot of the bed then cupped her face before kissing her again, this time a bit rougher.

  Her wolf was at the surface, and her eyes glowed gold. They both knew what was about to happen, and a small part of him was excited. That part wanted her. All of her.

  He had to push that part away for its own good.

  At least that’s what he told himself.

  Then he slammed his mind down from thinking and focused only on the woman in front of him. The gorgeous woman in front of him.

  He stood back then stripped off his shirt. She let out a gasp then hesitantly put her hand out before pulling back. He took her hand in his then put her palm over his heart.

  “It’s okay, you can touch. You can do anything you want.”

  He watched her throat work as she swallowed hard then willed his cock to behave as she traced his chest with her fingertips. Her fingers danced along the ink on his arms and chest, seemingly taking in every inch of him. He let her explore, let her set the pace. If he didn’t, he’d have her on her back and open for him in the blink of an eye.

  “When did you get this?” she asked, her hands on his ink.

  He cleared his throat. “When I was eighteen. I thought it was cool despite the fact I didn’t really think about how long I’d have it.” Considering wolves lived for centuries, that was a long freaking time.

  “I like the fact that it’s a wolf, yet not really. It’s all tribal and lines.”

  He nodded then took a deep breath before putting his hand on her waist. Her gaze shot to his, and then she smiled.

  His wolf perked up, wanting her to smile again.

  His hands traced her hips then he gripped the edge of her shirt before pulling it over her head. He’d seen her naked before when they’d shifted, but now it was a whole different matter. Now he could rake his gaze over her body and learn every inch of her. She was his to bond with, his to make love to, his to learn and lick and taste.

  She licked her lips, and he kissed her. They pressed their bodies against one another, only parting to strip off the rest of their clothes. Soon they were naked, his cock hard, throbbing, and pressing into her belly. Her nipples pebbled against his skin, and he wanted a taste.

  He knelt down before her then looked up. “I want to taste every inch of you before I fuck you, Gina.”

  She ran her hand over his head then gripped his hair. “More licking. Less talking.”

  He grinned, surprised, and then spread her thighs. She gasped when he licked her pussy in one long stroke. She was pink, wet, and ready, but he wanted to taste her on his tongue and have her come before he filled her.

  She was seriously one beautiful wolf.

  One beautiful witch.

  Maybe if he told her that, she’d believe him.

  One day.

  He gripped her ass and spread her cheeks so he could get a better angle at her core. Her hand in his hair tightened, and he bit down on her clit, his face buried between her legs.

  He lapped her up, his body craving her.

  “Quinn!”

  He bit down on her clit again, and she stiffened before she came. He kept sucking and licking, wanting to take her to the next crest. He wanted her to come over and over until she was nothing but a pile of sweaty Gina, content and mated. It was the wolf in him, and the bastard of a man as well.

  When the tremors stopped, he stood up and took her mouth, wanting her taste on his lips. He already had her cream; now he wanted her tongue.

  “I love your taste, Gina,” he growled out. He was being honest, just like he said he’d be. If it left him open, then he’d deal with the consequences. “I’m going to want that pretty mouth of yours on my cock, but not right now.”

  She licked her lips then smiled. “Eager much?”

  He nodded. “I’m not going to last long since it’s been five years and I’d rather come for the first time in you, not down your throat.”

  Her eyes widened. “Five years? I forgot you said something like that.”

  He shrugged. “I didn’t want anyone after Helena left.”

  Some of the light left her eyes, and he cursed.

  “I didn’t want anyone before you, Gina.”

  She shook her head. “Don’t lie to try and make me feel better, Quinn.”

  He could still taste her on his tongue, and yet he was already fucking this up. He cupped her face then kissed her hard. “I want you. Not anyone else. I didn’t want to sleep with anyone else before because they weren’t worth it. I’d lost my soul, and I didn’t want to risk it again.”

  “Yet you’re here with me to save your son, not because you want me. I get that. You don’t have to pretty it up.”

  “Shit. I’m doing this wrong. I’m always doing things wrong with you. I want you. I wanted you the first time I saw you. That’s why I was an asshole that day and the rest of the days since. I don’t know what the future holds, and I know we’re going about this backwards, but know that none of this is on you.”

  “But you said—”

  He kissed her again to cut her off. “What I said before about you being a witch? I was wrong. I pushed you away to protect myself, and I hurt you in the process. I’m so sorry about that. You’re a witch. I got that. You’re going to be my witch.” Her eyes widened at that, and honestly he surprised himself as well.

  “Quinn…”

  “We’re going to talk about futures and what the next steps are later, I know, but I don’t want you to lie beneath me, have me deep inside you, thinking I hate you. I don’t, Gina. I can’t.”

  Her eyes filled, and he sighed.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you before. I’m so sorry.”

  Her fingers traced his ink again, and he closed his eyes. “I forgive you, Quinn. I don’t know what you went through before, and honestly, I hope I never have to.”

  He met her gaze, and it felt like a boulder had been lifted from his shoulders. If he had any say about it, neither of them would go through it. He just had to trust her enough to make that happen. He was beginning to think he could.

  “It’s only you and me in this bed,” he said softly, praying he was telling the truth. “Gina, you will be my mate, as I will be yours. Our souls will entwine, and we will be one, if only for a moment. There’s no going back.” He swallowed. “And I don’t want to go back.”

  Now that he had her here, in his room, his bed, his arms, he knew he couldn’t let her go.

  That scared him more than he thought possible.

  She tilted her head. “I’m standing here naked with you. I don’t want to go back either. We’ll talk about everything later, I promise. Now, Quinn, please, fill me. I don’t want to lose whatever moment we have left.”

  He licked his lips then kissed her again, knowing that they’d find a way to make this work. They had to.

  His hands molded her ass while her hands roamed his back. Craving her, he lifted her up and then onto the bed. They fell together in a tangle of limbs, his legs giving out with his need.

  He leaned up and grinned at the laughter in her eyes.

  “Smooth,” she teased.

  “I’ll show you smooth, witch, ” he growled back. This time when he said the word “witch,” it felt like an endearment, not a curse. That was progress at least.

  He crushed hi
s mouth to hers, rocking his body along hers. She arched up against him, her hands gripping his biceps. He pulled back, wanting more of her. When she licked her lips, he did the same then went to her breasts, sucking and nipping at her nipples.

  “You have fantastic tits,” he murmured then bit down.

  She gasped then moaned, pressing her breasts into his face. With his free hand, he rolled her other nipple between his fingers then pinched.

  “Oh, that feels so good,” she panted.

  He laved at her skin then switched to her other breast, wanting her eager and writhing beneath him. It had been so long since he’d been with a woman, but from the way Gina was reacting, maybe he hadn’t lost his touch.

  Or maybe it was just Gina…

  “Please, I need to come, Quinn. I just need you.”

  He pulled his attention from her chest then kissed her again. When he leaned over her, he positioned himself at her entrance.

  “You ready?” he asked, his voice a growl.

  She blinked up at him. “Yes.”

  There was no hesitation, no worry in her voice.

  Thank the goddess.

  He slowly breached her entrance, keeping his gaze on hers. Her pussy tightened around his cock, her inner walls so damn tight he had to focus hard so he wouldn’t come before he was fully inside her.

  Since he was over her body on his forearms, she reached out and grasped his hand, and he sucked in a breath. Their fingers tangled then he cupped her face with his other hand.

  If she let him touch her again, he’d go hard and sweaty next time. Right then, he only wanted to feel her around him as he bound their souls and their wolves.

  Finally, sweet finally, he was inside her to the hilt.

  “I need a second,” he ground out, his body pulsing.

  “You’re really freaking big, Quinn,” she panted. “Move. Please, for the love of the goddess, move.”

  He grinned before kissing her. “You say such sweet things.” Then he moved, pulling out of her then slowly inching back in. The sweet torture would surely kill him, but he didn’t care.

  He was taking her future away and binding her to him. He’d make sure it would be worth it. There could be no other outcome.