Reckless With You Read online

  Because it sure as hell sounded like a blessing. But that couldn’t be right. Because I was not right for Amelia. And this was a fake relationship. I was her beard, for God’s sake. We couldn’t be anything more to each other. That was how it had to be.

  That’s what I needed it to be.

  I shook my head and then made my way back to my bedroom so I could get the rest of my things and try to make it to work on time.

  I had a long day ahead of me, and I needed to keep my mind on my patients, my files, and not on Amelia. But it was really hard when it came to her.

  Everything seemed to be these days.

  I worked a ten-hour shift, my eyes crossing by the end of it, but it was good work. I hadn’t been able to think about anyone but the people in front of me, and what they needed. There had been some bad cases, things that I needed to wash off and try to forget for a moment. Because while I could be in the moment with my patients and think about things clinically, I couldn’t take it home with me.

  That might make me a bad person, but the things that I saw? No, I couldn’t bring it home every day and still be okay. The people that were sick had to bring it home, and I would always think of them, but I couldn’t be that person. I couldn’t be the person who lived it day in and day out in so many ways where I could still be human in the end. Because while at work, those people and their problems layered upon one another, and it ended up drowning me in everything all at once.

  It was the way I dealt with things. It might not be the healthiest, but I knew I wasn’t alone in doing it.

  Having things in little boxes in my mind helped me figure out how to make it through each day.

  It helped me think about what I needed to be me.

  I had to stop by the grocery store on my way home since I was completely out of vegetables, and I didn’t really want to live on burgers and fries—even though that sounded really fucking good.

  Thankfully, I didn’t get hit on in the produce aisle as I had been prone to over the past few weeks. Maybe they saw that there was an off-limits sign on me now.

  I frowned, pausing as I picked up some broccoli. Off-limits? Since when was I off-limits?

  But maybe I was. I couldn’t be with anyone else if I were even in a somewhat realistic relationship with Amelia. That wasn’t fair to her, and it would probably get my ass kicked by her brothers immediately. So I wasn’t going to look at anyone else. I wouldn’t even bother going on a date. Because I was protecting Amelia.

  And myself.

  It had nothing to do with any feelings.

  Not at all.

  I got to my car and put my groceries in, and then froze as I noticed the man two cars down.

  Huh. I knew that guy. I knew him really fucking well. Or I thought I had.

  “Tobey,” I growled out, hitting the button on my trunk so the door would close as I walked over to him.

  Tobey’s eyes widened, and my fists clenched at my sides.

  Oh, I was going to jail tonight. I was going to punch his lights out. Though he didn’t deserve that. Oh, I might want to kick his ass, but I wouldn’t. I didn’t think with my fists, even though I really wanted to at the moment.

  “Hey, Tucker. What’s up?” Tobey spoke quickly, closing his trunk before he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

  That definitely wasn’t the best stance if you thought you were going to be on the receiving end of a punch.

  But Tobey probably didn’t think he did anything wrong. After all, it wasn’t like he and Amelia had ever dated. Contrary to what everybody who saw them thought.

  But it really wasn’t about the dating. It was about the friendship thing. They had been best fucking friends. And he’d screwed her over.

  The fact that I felt like I was doing something similar to Devin probably didn’t help my attitude.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I growled out, anger pouring through my veins.

  “What do you mean?”

  “How the hell could you do that to Amelia?” I really shouldn’t be doing this. This was none of my business. But, technically, I was lying to my best friends and in a fake relationship with Amelia because of this asshole. So, maybe I should let my rage out on him.

  After all, it was either that or yell at myself. And I’d already done enough of that.

  “I didn’t do anything to Amelia. She’s the one who did something to me.”

  Oh, he was really lucky we were in public, or I would have kicked his ass. Because while Tobey was broad and had some muscle, I was a better fighter. Tobey didn’t have grit. I might smile more, but I could definitely kick this motherfucker’s ass.

  And every time I looked at that little wimpy smile on his face, it made me want to hit him more.

  Over and over.

  Fucking asshole.

  “Excuse me?”

  “She’s the one who went and reacted like that. I’m sorry she thought the wrong thing. That she thought she loved me, or that I could love her. It’s not the case. She just had to be her normal self. Overdramatic.”

  What the fuck? Wasn’t this guy supposed to be her best friend? Who the hell talked like that about someone they loved? Even if it wasn’t romantic love, there had to be something about this guy that made her love him. But all I could see was nothing. I saw a useless sack of a man who didn’t deserve anything that Amelia felt. Not that I could actually tell Amelia that. Because she wouldn’t believe me. Because love was blind.

  And I wanted nothing to do with that.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I whispered, shaking my head.

  “There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m sorry she thought the wrong thing. And once Beth is okay with what happened, I’ll be back. You know she was my friend. And I hated hurting her. But things are weird now. And I don’t want to damage things with Beth.”

  “You led Amelia on. She loved you. You had to know that. Hell, even I saw it.”

  “Sure, but I didn’t really think anything of it. You know? I figured it was just one of those puppy-love things because I was the only guy who was ever around. Well, other than you. But you don’t really count.”

  I was not going to hit this man. I was not going to hit this man.

  I had to keep repeating that. Because I needed my hands for work. And going to jail and needing Devin to bail me out probably wouldn’t help matters. Oh, he would gleefully do it, especially if I kicked Tobey’s ass. But still, not a good thing.

  And Tobey was the kind of guy who’d probably press charges.

  “I don’t even understand you. Why did you hide Beth if you didn’t think that whatever Amelia felt for you was important?”

  “Because it was mine. You know?”

  “What?”

  “Jesus.” He threw his hands up into the air and started pacing in the parking lot. I really hoped he got hit by a car. Then that reminded me of Devin, and I realized I really needed a fucking drink.

  “It’s hard to be with Amelia. She has so much energy. And things needed to be done right then and there. Everything was about her. Nothing was enough. You know?”

  What. The. Fuck?

  Everything was about everyone else with Amelia. Yes, we all helped her with her work, but she threw herself into helping everyone else. We were the ones that offered to help her. Nobody expected to work on job sites with her. We simply showed up if we thought she needed the help. We joked that she worked us hard, but she really didn’t. And she was always there for us. No matter what, she was there. She’d always been there for me, and it wasn’t until recently that we truly became friends. Sure, she was in emotional upheaval at the moment—thanks to this asshole—and yes, we had all rallied around her as much as we could. Probably a little too much, hence the fake relationship.

  But Jesus Christ.

  “You know, I don’t know. I don’t know what the fuck you were thinking when it came to her. You should go. Before I kick your ass. Fuck you.”

  Tobey sneered. Fucking sneered. “You know what?
Whatever. You should probably date her. After all, you’re the slut that’s used to dating tons of women. Maybe you could teach her something. Then she can get over me.”

  He turned on his heel and got into his car, and I just stood there, wondering who the fuck this man was in front of me. Because this was not the Tobey that I had known for so long.

  This wasn’t the guy that Amelia had fallen in love with.

  As the man drove off, leaving me standing alone in the parking lot, I had to wonder what the hell I was going to do about Amelia.

  Did I tell her about this? No, it would probably hurt her.

  But I needed to do something.

  And then, as if I hadn’t thought about her enough, my phone rang.

  I looked at the readout and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to force myself to be calm and to slow my heart rate.

  “Hey,” I said, smiling.

  “Hey, do you want to go to dinner tonight?” Amelia asked, her voice a little distant.

  “I just got off work, and I’m starving. So, is this a fake date?” I asked, trying to sound happy and like I was teasing.

  “That or just a friends date. I don’t know. I’m really not good at this lying thing, and I know we’re making a huge mistake. So, let’s go eat dinner and pretend that everything’s okay. My treat.”

  I smiled then and looked down at my feet, wondering if I was really baring myself like I felt. “A friends date works, Amelia.”

  “Good. I can come pick you up.”

  “Yeah, let’s do that.”

  Then I hung up, wondering what I was going to say to her. And why just the sound of her voice warmed me inside. Because this was a bad idea.

  All of it was a bad idea.

  But it was sure as hell better than anything that Tobey had to offer.

  At least I knew that much.

  Even if it was all a mistake.

  Chapter 11

  Amelia

  “A friends date?”

  What the fuck was a friends date, and why the hell had I offered to go on one with Tucker tonight? I was losing my damn mind.

  No, I’d lost it when I put on that new bra and panty set—the one I’d later tossed in the trash since I never wanted to see it again.

  I quickly pushed that thought out of my head and grabbed my bag so I could head out to pick up Tucker.

  I figured since we were going about everything that we were doing wrong, I might as well be the one to pick him up, rather than him picking me up.

  It had made sense in my mind at the time, but then again, so had a lot of things recently.

  I really wasn’t good at this whole fake relationship thing. Not that I was good at real relationships either.

  I got into my car, aware that it was getting colder outside, and grateful that I had pulled on my heavy coat with the fake fur trim instead of my regular leather one.

  I probably looked as if I were ready to fight the Abominable Snowman, but at least I was warm.

  I was also wearing a black top with lace that went all the way up my neck, as well as tight black pants and boots that went up to my knees.

  I’d pretty much covered every inch of myself, the fact that I had done so a bit defensively notwithstanding.

  Because Tucker had already seen me practically naked at this point. I didn’t want to start off another evening as just friends while walking around nude. And maybe my wardrobe choices were a little bit of me wanting to be covered up for my own sake, as well. After all, I didn’t want to keep showing my boobs to people when it ended badly for everyone involved.

  I pulled into Tucker’s driveway. He must’ve been watching for me, because he came out the front door immediately, locking up behind himself before zipping his coat up to his neck and jogging towards me. I didn’t even have to turn off the car or get out. He was suddenly there and sliding into my passenger seat, giving me that wicked smile of his.

  The one that did weird things to my insides. But I ignored it. Mostly because this was only a friend thing. He was my friend.

  And, yes, if we went on a fake date, he would earn the right to kiss me again. I honestly didn’t know if I wanted that. Because while it had been one of the most amazing kisses I’d ever had in my life, it didn’t mean that it would be smart for either of us to continue doing it. In fact, it was probably the worst thing we could do.

  “I see you found the place,” Tucker said, slinking down as he put on his seatbelt.

  “I’ve been here before. A few times.”

  I backed out of his driveway so we could head to the restaurant I loved. I knew Tucker liked Korean food too since I had seen him eat it. So, hopefully, he would like the place, as well.

  “Well, considering this is just a friends date, I didn’t know if I should start with my usual lines.”

  I snorted. “Your lines?”

  “You know. ‘Hey, did the fall hurt?’” he asked, lowering his voice.

  I rolled my eyes. “If you say that I must have fallen from heaven because I’m so angelic or some shit like that, I’m going to have to kick your ass.”

  He smiled, shaking his head. “Well, I would’ve said it with a little more finesse than that. Not that I’ve ever actually used that line. They only use that in the movies. Or if you’re really drunk at a bar.”

  “Good to know that you’re not that pathetic.”

  “That pathetic? So, I have a little bit of patheticness in me? I don’t know how I feel about that.”

  “I’m sure you’re fine. And, really, this is just a friends date. More like dinner with a friend. We don’t actually have to use the word date.”

  “I kind of like it,” he said, reaching out to grip my hand and giving it a squeeze before letting it go again. I moved my hand from the gearshift where it rested and put it back on the steering wheel. Yes, space would be good. Lots and lots of space. Honestly, we probably shouldn’t even be out tonight, but I really wasn’t good at making smart decisions recently. Or ever for that matter. I could make good ones for work and for family, but not for myself apparently.

  “So, where are we going?” he asked, leaning back in the seat. I purposely did not look at him, mostly because I really wanted to look at him.

  “We’re going to that new Korean place. Well, okay, it’s not really new. It’s been around for a couple of years. But I always call it the ‘new place’ because I went there on opening weekend, and now I have to go as much as possible.”

  “Oh, yeah. I love that place. I’ve been there with Devin a few times. He loves it, too.”

  A thick silence fell between us. I was pretty sure you could almost reach out and touch it.

  “Should I not have brought him up?” he asked, confusion in his voice.

  I shook my head and flipped on my blinker to turn into the parking lot. “No. You should. It’s just weird. I don’t like that we’re lying to him.”

  “I don’t either.”

  “And I know it was my idea. I just really liked the fact that there was no pity in their eyes. And that’s all on me.”

  “I’m the one who’s going along with this.”

  “And I still don’t know why.”

  “Because I don’t want you to feel as if people pity you.”

  The way he said that, I wasn’t actually sure if that was the whole truth. But then again, I didn’t think either of us really knew the reasons for anything anymore.

  Probably not the best thing. “I need to tell him.”

  “Okay. We will.”

  “I don’t know when, though,” I said quickly as we got out of the car.

  “Yeah, that’s going to be a fun conversation, but we’ll get through it. Now, enough of that. It’s just a friends date, right?” he said as he took my hand, giving it a squeeze as we walked into the restaurant. “That means there’s nothing to worry about. No need to be nervous or feel weird. We’re going to have fun, talk about stupid shit, and just be friends.”

  “Is that what a friends date entails?�
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  “Since we’re making up the term, we can damn sure ensure that’s what it entails. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

  “I like going on friends dates. As long as they’re with you, I guess.” I couldn’t believe I’d just said that. What was wrong with me?

  But Tucker smiled at me, ignoring my idiocy as we went up to the hostess stand.

  The woman was a brunette with wide eyes and a gorgeous smile. Her white button-up shirt and pants fit her so well, I could see every single curve she had.

  “Hi there, Samantha,” Tucker said after looking at the lady’s nametag.

  I resisted the urge to roll my eyes given where her nametag was strategically placed. Considering that her boobs were even bigger than mine, there really wasn’t anywhere else to put it but right there on the swell of them.

  I didn’t blame her, though. She was hot. And I felt like I wasn’t. But I wasn’t going to let myself feel jealous. It was a friends date. Tucker was allowed to flirt with anybody he wanted. Not that he was actually flirting. He was only being nice. Because he was Tucker. Of course, from the way Samantha’s eyes lit up, and she looked like a cat in cream, I had a feeling she wanted all the flirting. Well, she could have it. Because I didn’t need it. Tucker and I were friends.

  Keep telling yourself that, Amelia. It’s totally true.

  “Well, hi there. What can I do for you?”

  Was Samantha’s voice breathy? Yeah, there was a little smoke in there.

  I was pretty sure she’d had a higher-pitched voice when I heard her earlier. But what did I know? Clearly, this was the Tucker effect.

  “Table for two, please.”

  He looked over at me and then reached out to squeeze my hand, but this time, he didn’t let go.

  I looked down at our clasped hands and then up at him, shaking my head.

  Okay, then. Weirdo.

  I didn’t miss the look of disappointment, and maybe even a little anger in Samantha’s eyes.

  Well, Tucker was hot. I couldn’t blame her. I’d feel jealous too if I thought he was flirting with me. Yes, he had kissed me. But it was only a little kiss. One that was barely anything. It meant nothing.