From Spirit and Binding Page 19

  I remembered the time my father gave me the keys to his car so he could teach me to drive. How he’d had a white-knuckled grip on the dash the entire time. He never raised his voice. Was so good, so calm.

  They always saw the best in me, even when I didn’t. They always wanted the best for me, even when I didn’t know what that was.

  And I had walked away from them the first time in anger because I’d known they didn’t understand. They had tried to push me into what they thought was best for me, even though I knew they would have accepted any decision I made in the end. I hadn’t actually made one.

  Because I hadn’t known what I needed, what was meant for me.

  Not then. And maybe not even now.

  However, there was no going back. I would never make memories like those again.

  And I would never be able to tell them everything that had happened after I left. I would never be able to tell them what had happened with Braelynn or Emory. Or the boy I met, Rhodes. About Rosamond. I’d never be able to tell them that I had fallen for a dark-haired boy with Fire at his fingertips and Earth beneath his feet. That he was the King of Obscurité, and I was the Spirit Priestess.

  I couldn’t explain to them that I could never be his queen, and not just because of the title and formality. Because the world had pulled us apart. He was cursed, and he could never love me. Though I knew something else was coming. Maybe love wasn’t the answer. But I would never be able to tell them any of that. Because they were gone. Dead. And I couldn’t reach them ever again. Damn it, I was the Spirit Priestess. What was the point of all of this pain and sacrifice if I couldn’t fix this? If I couldn’t save them?

  What was the point of any of this?

  “They’re gone, they’re really gone,” I whispered, and yet it sounded as if it were a shout in the heavens. It echoed through the walls of my own mind, and I wanted to scream yet again, but I had no voice. I had nothing.

  My parents were dead.

  And it was all my fault.

  It was Garrik’s fault. He killed them. I had known he wasn’t trustworthy. Sure, he had saved Easton, but for a purpose. Was it for this? To break me? Or would there be more?

  I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t really form sentences. I needed to get through this. I had to figure out why I was here. Why was I in these dreams again?

  “Am I dying, too?” I asked, pulling on the last ounces of strength within me so I could speak.

  “No, you’re here for another reason. This isn’t a dream, not really. It’s not death either. You know what this is. Feel your Wielding, know what’s breaking inside of you.”

  That was Seven speaking. I knew her. She was the one who had called me darling. Honestly, I didn’t think anyone else would dare.

  Easton, perhaps, though I would likely never see him again. Because I would die here. There wouldn’t be more after this. There couldn’t be.

  And then I looked up, and the Wielding within me reached out. I shouted.

  “Mom!”

  “Dad!”

  This wasn’t a dream. This wasn’t like the others I’d had before.

  These were the Spirit Wielders, and now, I was one of them.

  Warmth spread through my body, moving down to my fingertips and along my skin. It crawled up my arms and over my shoulders, then slithered down my back and over my legs until it reached my ankles, touching the tips of my toes. It came up my legs again, over my stomach, over the tips of my breasts and then up to my neck once more. It wrapped around my throat just like the smoke had done with my parents. Instead of breaking my neck, it cocooned me before caressing my face. My whole body felt as if it were swathed in that golden rope of warmth, and I knew.

  My fifth element had been unlocked. The cost had been steep.

  Sacrifices were to be made. I knew that.

  I knew the lines of the prophecy. Knew I was going to lose those I love the most. It shouldn’t have been them, though. They were innocent in all of this. It shouldn’t have been them.

  I looked ahead and saw the souls in front of me. The gray wisps of matter that had once been people, had once been the essence of the humans and the Maisons that lived within our world. Maybe there were even more worlds, I didn’t know. There were so many colors here, even as some of it was a faded gray.

  If I focused on one thing too long, the colors faded. Out of the corners of my eyes, I saw a rainbow. Like a cacophony of light and sound and essence all at once.

  It was everything and nothing, and I could barely hold it in my grasp.

  There were two souls I was most focused on. “Mom, Dad. Don’t go. I can see you. Maybe I can save you.” I didn’t even realize I was standing again until my knees shook once more, and my hands flew out, reaching for my parents’ souls.

  They looked at me, their eyes sad. They didn’t reach out. Instead, they wobbled in front of me, small smiles on their faces as they looked at me.

  They knew. I knew they knew everything now. As if in death, they realized exactly what they had brought into the world. Me. And I was the reason for their ending.

  Then there were hands on me, so many arms holding me back and whispering my name as they tugged me away from the center of the circle.

  The Spirit Wielders had moved. I didn’t realize they were able to do that. My parents nodded at me and then faded away.

  They were nothing again, an endless void of what had once been mine. Their essences were gone, their lives extinguished in a matter of moments, their souls evaporating into nothingness.

  I could barely breathe. Scarcely understand what I was looking at.

  They were gone, and the Spirit Wielders holding me back hadn’t let me reach out to them.

  “Why?” I asked again. This time, my voice was stronger. “Why can’t I touch them? Why did you pull me away? I could see them. Maybe I could have saved them. Why did you do that? I feel like I killed them all over again.”

  Tears flowed down my cheeks again, and this time, Seven leaned forward so she faced me, running her hands through my hair.

  “Dearest Lyric. You can’t. You can’t bring back the dead. You can’t touch death. Not in the way you might want.”

  “Then what good am I?” I whispered, pain wracking my body. My soul hurt, everything hurt. Blood seeped out of my fingernails, ran down my chin, out of my ears and my eyes. I could feel the warm tendrils as they slid down my face, and I knew my body was breaking. There was too much power inside me, and I couldn’t hold it all. Maybe the prophecy had been wrong. Or perhaps it was right, but I wasn’t the person meant for this. “Why can’t I save them? Why do I have all five? It’s too much. It hurts.” I had whispered the last part, my voice cracking.

  The twelve Wielders held me close, even as they lay on the floor near me.

  I didn’t know if they were dead or alive, if they were out in the human world or hiding in the Maison realm. I didn’t really understand any of it. All I knew was that they were here for me, and yet they had held me back from saving my parents.

  I couldn’t touch death? Then what was a Spirit Wielder?

  What was Spirit?

  And what was I going to do with five elements that were breaking me from the inside?

  “You will be fine. Your body can handle this. Just let it equalize, and you will figure it out.” It was One speaking, his voice matter-of-fact, as if he dealt with this kind of thing every day.

  I had a feeling that this had never happened before. After all, I was one in a million. One in a trillion.

  And I felt like I was dying.

  “As soon as your body deals with holding five elements, you will wake, and everything will be fine.”

  “Nothing will be fine again,” I snapped. “My parents are dead.”

  “They are,” One said matter-of-factly.

  “Stop it,” Seven snarled. “That’s enough. This is not the time for math or science or physics.”

  “No, this is a time for Spirit Wielding. And we don’t have
the option of going slow or easing her into this,” One said.

  “Into what?” I asked, reaching my hand up to my face to wipe the blood from my chin.

  “Your body will handle this. Even now, I can see the fissures in your skin healing. As will the others who are watching your corporeal form rather than your ethereal form as we are.”

  “So I’m bleeding in real life, too?” I asked.

  “Yes. But you will heal. First, though, know that you couldn’t have touched your parents. You could not have brought them back. It’s not only not done, it could also unravel the entire fabric of the universe. You can hold the spirits of the living. The dreams of those who are with us. And the future of those who look upon us. That is what being a Spirit Wielder means. You will figure it out, Lyric. You hold so much promise within you. So much strength. Just believe in yourself and trust those who have always been in your corner. You can do this. And not just because the world needs you or because you have to. Because we believe in you. We’re the Spirit Wielders, the last of our kind. You are one of us now. You are the truth, the passion, the future. Just breathe.”

  As I looked over at Seven, her eyes warmed, even with the fear I saw there. I opened my mouth and screamed.

  My eyes opened, and I found myself on the ground in the courtyard where we had been, where I knew the bodies of my parents were.

  I didn’t know why I knew that not a lot of time had passed. Maybe a blink of an eye in normal time. Within my dreams, with what had just happened with the Spirit Wielders, that hadn’t been just a blink. I didn’t know why I knew that, no matter how much time passed when I slept in those dreams, when I fought and I realized what was happening, when I felt all of those elements within me, no time had passed here.

  Maybe that’s how it had always been, even when I was in the human realm and didn’t know what those dreams were.

  I couldn’t think about any of that right now, though.

  My body shook, all five elements now within me fighting for control and dominance. I knew Easton’s hands were on me, as were the others’. I couldn’t look at them. Instead, I pushed my hands out, and the Water and Air Wielding within me slammed into the ground. That rocketed the Earth Wielding, and everyone that had been hovering near me was flung away from me.

  I had been lying on my back, prone. Now, I found myself standing. However, my feet weren’t touching the ground. I hovered, the toes of my boots trailing along the ground as the Air Wielding around me made my hair stand on end, floating in a breeze that wasn’t really there. The earth rocked beneath me, and flames danced within my eyes and across my fingertips. Then there was Water. Water spigots and spirals from the ponds around us flew through the air, creating a cascading waterfall effect that I knew the others were observing out of the corner of their eyes.

  Their full attention was on me.

  The air was static around me, and I knew with the flame and the raw power within me, I could burn buildings. Just like before, I could turn all of this to ash, to dust, to Spirit, to…nothing. I could use the power within me and break them all. I could hurt anyone in my path for daring to touch what was mine. I looked at the bodies in front of me, the ones my friends hadn’t moved because there had been no time.

  I stared at the corpses that had been my parents.

  I didn’t scream, didn’t shout. I didn’t say a word. I just looked at them and knew there was no going back. I would remember this moment until the end of my days, even if those were numbered. They would pay for what they had done. The Gray would die by my hands, as would the monster who had killed them. The traitor. Garrik.

  They would all die, and I would rise. I shook that thought out of my head, trying to control the powers. All five at once was too much. And I didn’t like the voice in my head. Didn’t like the fact that it didn’t sound like me. I needed to be Lyric. I needed to remember the girl I was. Because if I didn’t, then I would be the worst kind of monster of all. I would be the one who ended them by losing control. I would be worse than The Gray.

  As people shouted my name and reached out to me, I looked down and saw Easton. His dark eyes took me in, and his hands were outstretched. I knew I saw trust there. Not worry. Nothing but pure unadulterated trust.

  He might not love me—but he trusted me.

  I couldn’t fail him. I couldn’t fail anyone. Not anymore. I wouldn’t let it happen.

  As I pulled the Wielding within me as if I were locking it in a sphere within my soul, I screamed again and fell to the ground with a thud.

  The others came to me, yet it was Easton who got to me first. He held me as Braelynn hopped onto my lap, curling into me. Rhodes had his hands on my shoulders. Rosamond was near, as well. There were others around, those who wanted to help. I could only close my eyes and let the tears fall.

  Because my parents were dead. But…I had unlocked the fifth element.

  I was now the Spirit Priestess in truth.

  The reckoning would come.

  Now, I knew the price. Sacrifice. Sadly, I hadn’t been the one to pay it.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Easton

  * * *

  I’d put Lyric in my rooms, not hers. And at the moment, I didn’t really care what anybody thought about that particular decision. I might be a bastard, but I was a royal one, the king. Everyone would just have to deal with my edicts.

  I couldn’t stand not knowing where Lyric was, even if every time I thought about her, it was as if something twisted inside of me, an icy block that didn’t let me get too close.

  I was fine. She was going to be okay.

  And, once again, I kept telling myself that, hoping it would make it the case.

  “Rosamond’s with her,” Rhodes said, coming up to my side. “I don’t really like the idea of my sister in your bedroom,” the Lumière prince rumbled.

  I looked over at him, raising my brow. I didn’t really have the heart to do so in earnest. I knew I would never get the sound of Lyric’s screams out of my head. Not until the end of my days, even if that end came quickly. Just like I’d never get the sight of the blood rushing from her eyes and nose and even what looked like her skin as her body cracked and she shuddered out of my memories.

  It was hard to be a complete asshole, the king I was so good at playing, when all I wanted to do was make sure she was okay.

  Something glided into my heart, a shadowy fist that clenched around the organ. I held back a shuddering breath. I couldn’t look weak, especially not in front of Rhodes. Hell, I knew that The Gray still had a hold on me. And if I weren’t careful, he would take everything from me just like he had with Lyric.

  “Your sister’s safe from me. You don’t have to worry about that.”

  “Do I have to worry about Lyric?” Rhodes asked, his voice low, and I knew he wasn’t teasing, wasn’t prostrating. He was worried.

  Hell, I was worried, too.

  Did he still want her? Should I care? She couldn’t be mine. Maybe I had to let her go. Let her be his.

  No.

  No, that wasn’t right. She couldn’t be.

  Once again, I ignored the oily, slick ice in the cavity where my heart should be. The curse had taken care of the organ long ago.

  “You know I don’t have the answer to that,” I said, surprising myself with my honesty. I did not like the look in his silver eyes, the fact that Rhodes seemed to take that as truth. I’d spent my entire life thinking he was my rival. After all, we were two sides of the same coin.

  Both sons with the powers of each of our kingdoms.

  I was constantly trying to outmaneuver him on the battlefield, at least that’s how it’d been in our youth. And then he left to search for Lyric, our Spirit Priestess. And I stayed behind to save my people.

  This was the man I was supposed to hate. The one I had thought Lyric loved. It turned out they weren’t soulmates.

  No, Lyric was supposed to be mine. Just like everything else I touched, I had screwed that up, too. Maybe, like my rivalry
, it had been set in stone at birth.

  “Did you know that Garrik was going to do that?” Rhodes asked. Rage was a familiar friend as it slid over me, and I fisted my hands at my sides.

  “Of course, I didn’t know what he was planning. What the hell do you take me for?”

  Rhodes took a step forward so we were nose to nose, his eyes narrowed as he huffed out breaths, his hands fisted just like mine.

  “I don’t know what I take you for anymore, Easton.”

  He sneered the words, and I wanted to punch his face. I wanted to take that silver out of his eyes and just beat the pulp out of him until everything within me stopped hurting. Until I could make things better. I knew that wouldn’t happen. It was never going to fricking happen.

  “I didn’t know,” I ground out.

  “You say that, King, but what if you did? What if The Gray is controlling you? Why don’t we have you locked up or in chains like we do Emory?”

  I met his gaze, saw the intensity there, and I didn’t have a damn answer.

  Instead, I looked away. I didn’t lower my shoulders or my head. Didn’t do a damn thing to show him that I was giving in. But I did look away.

  And then I turned towards the crystal room and looked in where Lyric had been killed, where my mother had died. Where Lyric’s friend had died. Where all the hope I had in actually having some semblance of control within this kingdom fell away.

  The crystal sputtered before brightening again, feeding its magic and Wielding into the kingdom.

  I knew we were all in our last months, maybe even days. I knew, in my bones, that we didn’t have even a year. How could we? The crystal was dying. And our hope was the girl currently lying in my bed, passed out from the powers overwhelming her body and the grief echoing in her heart.

  “We don’t know anything,” I said, my voice wooden. “The others are watching me come and go. Watching me lead my people. Acting as if they are guarding me for the sake of those who don’t know the truth.” A pause. “I can feel you watching me.”

  “I am.” There was nothing apologetic in that phrase or in Rhodes’ tone. “And that’s why I don’t think you had anything to do with Garrik. Besides him using you to get in here.”