Harder Than Words Read online

Present Day

  There had to be a better way to deal with files and estimates other than wanting to burn them in a fire of glory and pain.

  At least that’s what Luc figured when he stopped himself from slamming his head against the desk. He knew for a fact that wasn’t true. He’d been the journeyman electrician for Montgomery Inc. for over a year now, and he felt like all he did was paperwork. Estimates, bids and proposals were the bane of his existence. It didn’t matter that he knew his shit inside and out. It still sucked. The family-owned business was the most efficient one he’d ever worked for, and their administrative assistant, Tabby, did most of the work with her scarily organized methods, but he felt the need to complain about it anyway.

  When he’d come back to Denver after almost a decade away, he never thought Storm and Wes Montgomery would hire him on without even looking at his resume. Yeah, Luc had worked for them before and grew up learning the trade. He was over at the Montgomery house more than his own most weeks, but still… He’d left everyone without a word, and they welcomed him back with open arms.

  Well, that wasn’t strictly true. At the time, he’d told Harry Montgomery, the Montgomery siblings’ father and owner of the company, he’d be leaving, but that was it. He swore Harry to strict secrecy, even though he knew it had hurt the older man to keep it from his daughter. But if Luc thought about it too hard, he’d recognize the fact that nothing got past Harry, and there was a reason the man let Luc go without a word.

  But, again, Luc wasn’t going to think about that.

  It had been too fucking long, and he was no longer the lost boy who wanted the girl he could never have. He’d lived his life and seen the world to become the man he was today.

  A man who wanted to scream at the numbers on the screen.

  He’d rather be working with his hands than doing this number shit, but being an adult meant he had to be accountable and actually do his job.

  Fun times.

  “Are you still threatening to slam your head into the screen rather than actually finish up the work?” Wes, his boss and friend, said as he walked up to Luc’s desk.

  Wes, like the rest of the Montgomerys, had dark brown hair, strong features, and bright blue eyes. He wasn’t as built as some of the others, not even his twin, Storm, but he was still pretty big. Luc had a couple inches on the man, but it didn’t feel like that much when he was surrounded by the whole Montgomery crew.

  “I hate doing this.” Luc pushed his chair back so he could stretch his legs. “I have everything input and triple-checked, but I still have to freaking organize it and make sure I’m not fucking up. I hate working with estimates.”

  Wes shook his head. “Then don’t. You did the part you needed to do. Let me or Tabby work on the other parts. I’d rather you get out to the project house and work on the system than sit here and let your eyes dry out because you’re not blinking.”

  Luc ran a hand over his face then blinked a few times. Huh. He guessed his eyes were drying out. Who knew? “It’s not your job to take care of my work, Wes.”

  “Actually, you’re doing our work,” Wes countered. “We’re a team, and you did your part. I know you want to be able to handle everything, but the number parts aren’t your job. You did most of the estimates already, and now you’re just nitpicking. You’ve put in everything you can, so now, let’s work on the projections and everything else that comes with them.”

  And this was why Luc didn’t want to own his own business. Yeah, he could do it all if he had to. He’d even been forced to do it a couple times when he preferred working as an electrician and not on payroll. He’d rather fix the problems he could handle rather than make more for himself by worrying about those details that were out of his control.

  “You’re working too hard on things you can delegate. Let us help.”

  “But I should be able to do it all.” Luc was annoyed with himself for some reason.

  “You can, but you don’t have to. That’s the whole point of delegating.”

  “Funny words coming from your mouth, bro,” Storm said as he came up from behind his twin.

  They were fraternal twins, so they didn’t look too much alike, other than clearly being siblings. Storm liked to dress down all the time; Wes dressed in slacks and pressed shirts while he was in the office and not on a project site.

  “I delegate,” Wes said. His friend was lying. But Luc wasn’t one to talk then, so he didn’t point it out.

  “We all kind of suck at it,” Decker said. Decker was Miranda Montgomery’s husband and their lead contractor. “But still, stop doing everything and try to work less than sixty hours a week. It’s okay to actually have a life.”

  Luc frowned. “I have a life outside Montgomery Inc.”

  “Do you?” Decker asked, and Luc just glared.

  As much as he liked working with his friends, sometimes it sucked that they knew so much about him. Or at least were learning about the man he was now.

  There was only one person who knew more about who he was.

  “What are all of you gathered around for?”

  And there she was.

  Luc looked over at the front door of the building as Meghan Montgomery-Warren came in, her face freckled with dirt and her jeans caked with mud. As she was the Montgomery Inc. landscape architect, so the mud overlay wasn’t an unusual occurrence. Still, every time he saw her, he got what felt like a kick to the solar plexus. After all these years, he figured he’d be over her by now, but nope. He still thought she was fucking gorgeous.

  Her long chestnut hair fell over her shoulders in waves as she took it out of her ponytail. Her high cheekbones had become more prominent over the years as she’d grown out of her youth. Her bright blue eyes weren’t as carefree anymore—the darkness of divorce and the pain of her life since he’d left taking hold—but damn, she was still beautiful. She’d lost weight when she was married and was just now starting to gain it back. But because she worked her ass off—more than any of the men around his desk, including himself—she was still too thin for his liking.

  “We’re just trying to convince Luc to not work so hard,” Wes said as he grinned at his sister. “Though since you’re here, we’ll yell at you, too. Why the hell are you covered in mud?”

  Luc held back a groan when Meghan narrowed her eyes at her brother. “Excuse me? I’m working for a living. It gets messy. I can’t help it if you love your pressed linen to the point of obsession.”

  Luc snorted a laugh, as did the other guys, but Wes just grinned. “I look good, and you know it. Anyway, you were supposed to be back from your job site an hour ago. What happened?”

  Meghan shrugged. “Had an issue with one of the burlap-wrapped trees. Little bastard didn’t want to go in the hole.”

  “Probably should have used more lube,” Storm said with a straight face, and Luc closed his eyes.

  Nope. Not going there.

  Meghan clucked her tongue, but when he opened his eyes again, she was smiling. “I walked right into that one. Anyway, I need to go pick up the kids and head to the parents’. You guys coming to dinner?”

  “Yep,” the three others said.

  Meghan turned to Luc then and, for the first time that day, met his gaze. They’d seen and talked to one another often in the past year she’d been divorced and he’d been back. He even held her that one time she’d needed it. But they’d never be the friends they once were.

  He’d broken that.

  “What about you, Luc? You coming?”

  He shook his head, regret in his heart. “I’m having dinner with my own folks tonight. But have fun.”

  She smiled then, the light in her eyes reminding him of a better time. “Have fun.”

  “Always,” he said softly then cleared his throat. “Okay, then. If I don’t need to work on this paperwork, I’m heading out.”

  He said his goodbyes and made his way out to his truck, determined not to stare too long at the woman who had once been the best, and most painful, p
art of his life.

  He couldn’t help but stare at her.

  But he didn’t love her. Not anymore. The man he used to be loved the woman she had been long ago. He didn’t know this Meghan, and that was on purpose. The distance between them was calculated and necessary.

  He’d left Denver and the life he’d created for the woman in front of him once before, and he wasn’t about to do it again. Staying away and being the man he was now, and letting her find the woman she wanted to be, was the only way he could survive.

  Even if it hurt like hell.

  Chapter Two

  Meghan Montgomery-Warren wasn’t going to freak out.

  She wasn’t.

  Okay, so she might, but she’d bury it where she’d buried every other freakout over the past twelve months and ignore it. Because ignoring her problems and worries was better than having to deal with him.

  She winced.

  That might have been one of the most idiotic things she’d thought about in a good long while.

  Good job, Meghan.

  Her kids were getting out of school, and her babysitter was sick. Her last job had been a pain in the ass since the old man who owned the house hated anyone without a dick. Her ex had called but hadn’t left a message, scaring the shit out of her. Her dad’s new test results after his latest treatment would be released tonight. Her truck hadn’t started on the first try that morning. And her stomach ached something fierce since she’d forgotten to eat lunch.

  This was just a normal day in the grand scheme of things.

  So she’d worry about the stresses of her daily life once she was home and behind the closed door of her bedroom. That way, she could deal with it all alone and not in front of her clients, family, or children.

  That was much better than giving herself an ulcer.

  The sun beat down on her skin, and she took off her baseball cap, fanning herself with the brim. It was freaking October in Colorado, and she was sweating outside from the lingering heat of summer. It should have at least been raining or maybe snowing. Though with Denver’s weather, it might do that later in the day. Colorado was the shining example of needing to dress in layers. One minute it would be freezing, the next too warm, and after that, she’d be trying to cover her newly planted designs so they didn’t get drenched in the downpour, and all in one day.

  This time of year was usually the worst for her job until the winter came full-on, but she was almost done with her last big project for the year. Once she finished this for her last client, she’d be able to break for the winter and work on the planning and other stages for her clients. Mother Nature was the one in charge of her job, and she’d learned that the hard way years ago.

  Marie Montgomery loved the land and had held this exact job as part of Montgomery Inc. when the company first opened. Meghan was an infant then. She’d grown up watching her mother work. Marie worked in the trenches and lifted more than she should have for her body weight to provide for her eight children. Meghan was now doing that and felt freaking exhausted—plus she had only two kids, not eight. Honestly, Meghan wasn’t sure how her mother had done it. Sure, her mom had her dad, and the two of them were a powerhouse couple, but that still put the math in Meghan’s favor.

  She never did like math much.

  Now she was rambling, and she had things to do other than think about how much harder her parents had it and the fact she was lacking.

  Richard had told her that enough to last a lifetime.

  Meghan pinched the bridge of her nose. Why the hell had she thought about her ex-husband? She wanted nothing to do with him or his goddamn emotional kinks, but apparently, he was going to haunt her beyond their marriage. He’d beat her down emotionally, told her she wasn’t good enough, pulled her away from all her friends and family, and had somehow convinced her that it was all her fault in the first place.

  “Everything okay, Meghan?”

  She turned on her heel at the sound of Luc’s voice and stumbled over her own feet. She reached out and tried to grab her truck’s side mirror and missed.

  Oh, hell.

  She did her best to brace herself for the fall to the parking lot asphalt, but just when she figured she’d hit, strong arms wrapped around her waist. Luc’s heart beat against her ear, and his muscled chest should have felt hard and unyielding against her cheek. Instead, it was warm and…inviting?

  No. That couldn’t be right.

  She must be lacking oxygen from preparing to fall. Luc’s hands moved down to her hips, and she placed her hands on his chest—was he always so built?

  Okay, enough of this.

  “Uh, thanks for saving me from making an ass out of myself,” she said then blushed. “Okay, so I still made an ass out of myself, but at least I’m not bleeding.”

  Luc smiled down at her. “I’m used to women dropping at my feet. No worries.”

  Considering how hot he’d always been, and the fact that he was one gorgeous specimen of a man now, she figured he was probably not exaggerating in the slightest. His dark skin was flawless over hard muscles, and his face held strong features. His jaw was strong, and every once in a while, he let his beard grow out just enough that it left a nice shadow. He kept his midnight black hair cut close to his head, and sometimes he even shaved it. At least he did when he was younger. She hadn’t seen him shave it in the year since he’d been back.

  His honey-colored eyes bored into her, and she pushed at his chest so she could stand away from him. Easier to collect herself when she wasn’t draped over the man like some weak-kneed southern belle.

  “Well, thank you for catching me.”

  “Why did you swoon?” He smiled as he said it, so she knew he was teasing her, but she still narrowed her eyes.

  “Swoon? I don’t swoon. I tripped over my own feet, but I didn’t swoon.”

  He held up his hands in mock surrender. “Whatever you say, angel eyes.”

  She froze for a moment at the nickname.

  Angel eyes.

  Hell, he hadn’t called her that since before he left town without a word.

  Since her wedding day.

  She wasn’t sure how she felt about him calling her that now. While they had been closer than close before, they weren’t those people anymore. Life had changed them both, and if she was honest with herself, she wasn’t sure she could ever forgive him for leaving her when he did.

  She never blamed him for leaving her in the situation she’d put herself in with Richard and everything that came with that, but she couldn’t get the idea out of her head that he’d walked away so easily.

  Meghan cleared her throat and pushed those thoughts away. “Well, thank you anyway.”

  “You’re welcome. Now what’s wrong?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing.”

  “You were focused on something before I walked up, so what is it?”

  She raised a brow at him. “It’s not work-related, so don’t worry about it.” She held back a wince at the snap in her words.

  “Are we really only allowed to talk about work things, Meghan?” he asked, his voice soft.

  She sucked on both lips and sighed. “I don’t know, Luc. But right now, I need to go pick up my kids and then deal with a few invoices. I’m not in the mood to live in the past right now.”

  “You let me hold you when I came back, Meghan,” he reminded her. “You let me be in your life and your kids’ lives when Miranda and Decker were going through their shit. But since then, we haven’t talked other than at work or in passing.”

  She was weak and broken when he came back, and she’d fallen into old patterns. Patterns she forced herself to take a clear look at so she’d be able to fix herself. She refused to be the woman she’d once been, but it was damn hard to remember to be strong every moment of every day.

  You’re nothing.

  She pushed that memory away and raised her chin at Luc.

  “I can’t talk about this right now. I need to go. Thank you again for not letting me fal
l.”

  She turned away and climbed into her aging truck, praying it would turn over so she wouldn’t have to embarrass herself again by asking for a jump.

  “This isn’t over, Meghan,” Luc said from the side her truck, his voice firm, before she closed the door.

  She didn’t answer, not knowing what she would say if she did. She’d made so many mistakes before, and she vowed she wouldn’t do it again. Her kids came before anything, and if she spent time wondering how she let the man who had once been her best friend back into her life after he abandoned her, she’d mess it all up. She refused to be that weak, refused to be that woman.

  She wouldn’t do that again.

  Not when Cliff and Sasha needed her more than anything.

  Thankfully, her truck started without a problem, and she left Luc standing in the parking lot. At one time, she might have wished to be able to go back and make sure the man she once knew was still inside the man he was today, but she couldn’t do that. Not anymore.

  She didn’t want him to see the woman she’d become.

  She’d once been strong, independent. She laughed and chose her own destiny. She’d married young—too young to know better and see the slithering snake lurking beneath the charming veneer waiting to strike.

  Even after a year of being on her own with her children, she still wasn’t sure who she was, and she hated that. All that mattered, however, were her children. They had a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. As long as they had that, she knew she wasn’t failing completely as a single mother.

  Although, if she thought about it too hard, she’d been a single mother for far longer than a year.

  Richard had never liked their children. They hadn’t been Warren enough for him. They’d been a means to an end, a way to fill up his quota of the perfect family life. All they needed then was a dog—one he hated—for his life to be complete. He hadn’t liked the fur that came with the perfect family puppy, but Boomer was just as much a part of their family as anything.

  Only Richard wasn’t anymore.

  And if she truly thought about that, she was happy.