Tattered Loyalties Read online

  The tears fell freely now, but she refused to let either man closer to her. Finn’s words might be true, but they hurt like hell.

  “Don’t you think I know I would never be accepted as Gideon’s mate? I’m Jasper and Willow’s daughter. I’m a Redwood. My place is here. I’m a submissive who doesn’t like fighting. I’m not Alpha-mate material,” she said, her voice rising with each word.

  Finn winced. “Damn it. I didn’t mean it like that, Brie.”

  She rolled her eyes then wiped up her tears. No use crying when it didn’t accomplish anything. “Well, it came out that way. I know I’m not good enough to be the Alpha’s mate. It’s fine. I was getting over it. But now Gideon is using me without telling me. He might not have said my name to the elders, but he’s on a deadline to show up with a potential mate or else he’s forced to stick with this Iona.”

  She already hated Iona, and she hadn’t even met the woman. It wasn’t as though Brie had a reason for this jealousy, but she couldn’t handle holding back all of her emotions.

  Quinn blew out a breath then sat down on the couch next to her. Her wolf prickled at the closeness of two such dominant wolves near her, then calmed somewhat in their presence. Damn wolf. Finn rubbed the back of his neck then lowered himself to the coffee table.

  “I don’t know what Gideon is going to do, Brie, but there is no way he’ll force you do to anything you don’t want to do.” Finn growled the last part, and she sighed.

  “He’s not like that, Finn,” Quinn put in. “He might be an Alpha you don’t know, but he’s not a monster.”

  Finn growled again, and she closed her eyes for a moment before slowly opening them.

  Put a bunch of testosterone-driven, dominant males in a room and things went to shit. Finn might be powerful and the Heir, but he wasn’t an Alpha yet. She didn’t want to see her cousin, or any of her family, get hurt because of something out of their control. She also didn’t want to see Gideon get hurt despite the fact that she didn’t know him, and he’d yet to even say he wanted her.

  He didn’t want her—he only needed her—and that was the problem.

  She swallowed hard, knowing there was only one right thing to do. Gideon had put her existence out there for a reason. He didn’t want to mate with Iona. He might not want to mate with Brie, but he might not have a choice.

  Which meant she didn’t either.

  If he wanted to keep his Pack secure and keep the elders off his back, he needed a mating bond.

  Lucky for him she could provide him one.

  She’d deal with the consequences later.

  Her wolf whimpered then nudged at her, secretly pleased.

  Damn wolf.

  She lifted her chin and met Finn’s eyes. “Can you get me to the Talon den and to Gideon?” she asked, her voice steady.

  Finn stood up so quickly he almost fell over the coffee table. “You’re fucking kidding me, right? You can’t just go to the Talons and offer yourself up like a sacrificial lamb.”

  She winced at the imagery. It might have been accurate, but that didn’t mean she had to like it.

  “Stop it, Finn. This is my choice.”

  “It’s not your choice if you’re forced into it. Gideon can get on without you.”

  But what if I can’t get on without him?

  She quickly pushed that thought out of her mind. No good would come of it. “Just get me there, Finn. I can fight and protect myself, but I’m not an idiot. Going off alone to another den isn’t smart. I could use the help.”

  “I’ll take you,” Quinn said softly.

  She turned to him, surprised. “You will?”

  He nodded then stood. “Gideon is one of my best friends. He’d be damned lucky to have you as his mate. Is it going to be easy? Fuck no. But Gina gave up everything to be with me, and I was an idiot when I didn’t see what I could give her at the same time. So, yeah, I’ll go with you to make sure Gideon realizes what he’s getting out of the situation. Plus that den used to be my home. I’ll be by your side if you need it.”

  She swallowed hard, knowing Quinn was in a tight spot, but she was grateful he was going to help.

  “Well, fuck,” Finn muttered. “Fine. I’ll take you, too. I won’t have him hurting you.” He met her gaze, his eyes cloudy. “You sure you know what you’re doing?”

  She shook her head. “I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know it’s the right thing. He needs a mate, and well…I’m here.” And I want to mate him even if he doesn’t want me and I’m all wrong for him.

  Not that she would ever say that last part.

  “Well, let’s get a move on then if we want to make it out of here before the parents find out and things officially go to shit.”

  Brie shook her head then stood, her hands trembling. “You have such a way with words, Finn.”

  He grinned at her, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I try.”

  She swallowed hard and looked down at her tattered jeans, boots, and top. It wasn’t the best outfit to meet a future mate in and pledge herself, but it wasn’t like it really mattered. For all she knew, he’d reject her as soon as she put herself out there. Even if he accepted her bond, she then had the entire Pack to deal with. It wasn’t going to be easy, but hell, it had to be better than this loneliness that never seemed to ebb.

  They made their way to the Talon den in silence. Quinn drove while Finn sat in the passenger seat, his wolf on alert from the way his shoulders never dropped. Brie took deep breaths, trying to calm herself once again. She knew she was doing the right thing, but it didn’t make it any easier.

  Once they made their way to the front gates, Quinn spoke quietly to the sentries. The other wolves looked into the car and nodded, frowns on their faces. She didn’t know what they were thinking, but she’d deal with it later.

  She’d have to deal with a lot of things later.

  They got out of the car and followed the sentries into the wards. They couldn’t bring their car into the den since they were outsiders, but since they were accepted inside on foot, that was at least a step in the right direction.

  “The sentries alerted Gideon that we were here. That’s why they let us in,” Quinn whispered.

  She nodded and focused on putting one foot in front of another. This wasn’t a death march. She wasn’t giving up her life. No, she was merely giving up her way of life. She could do this. She was a Jamenson, and she was strong as hell.

  Just because her wolf wanted to lower its head and nuzzle into the nearest dominant for reassurance didn’t make her weak. It just made her who she was.

  “We can still go back,” Finn said from behind her.

  She shook her head. “I’ve made my decision. Just be by my side and step away when I need you to. If you do that, then you’re doing all you can.”

  Finn growled but didn’t say anything else.

  She felt the gazes of others on her, but she didn’t look at anyone. People had come out of their homes to see the Redwoods walking through the den, but as they didn’t comment on it, she didn’t either. They’d all know soon enough the reason for her visit. She just hoped it didn’t end in bloodshed like many unwanted matings did.

  Gideon stood at the door when they walked up, and she sucked in a breath.

  Apparently they never had to worry if she’d be attracted to him. There was no mistaking the heat running through her veins at the sight of him leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

  His piercing blue eyes bored into her, and then he turned to look at Quinn, dismissing her in that one movement.

  The hurt shocked her, but she didn’t back down. She was there for a reason, and he’d just have to get over whatever feelings he had. If he had another way to save his position without mating her, then she’d gladly hear it.

  She might not like it, but she’d listen anyway.

  “I see someone has a big mouth,” Gideon said causally to Quinn. Though, really, there was nothing casual about Gideon, and they all kn
ew it. Her wolf brushed up against her at their mate’s presence. She fisted her hands by her side, forcing her wolf to back down at least for the moment. She needed to keep her wits about her if she was going to get through this whole…or at least sane.

  “She deserved to know,” Quinn answered. “She’s here on her own. This is her choice.”

  Okay. That was enough. While she might be submissive, she didn’t like the big bad men taking care of her and talking over her as if she wasn’t there at all. That would not be how she started this mating.

  “She is right here,” she snapped, though it didn’t come out as strong as she wanted. She met the Alpha’s eyes. “Gideon. Can I come in? I’d like to talk. Finn and Quinn can wait outside.”

  “Brie—”

  “I’ve got this, Finn.” She cut him off. He growled behind her and Gideon let out a growl of his own.

  This wasn’t going to end well.

  “I’ve got this,” she repeated, her voice so low she was afraid only she heard it.

  Gideon tilted his head and studied her. “Do you?” he whispered then stood straight. “Come on in, Brie Jamenson. It seems we have a lot to talk about.”

  Finn gripped her hand, and she squeezed it before pulling away. She left the two men standing on the walkway while others came closer. She didn’t look to see who they were. There would be time for that later. Instead, she followed Gideon into the house. When he shut the door behind her, everything seemed to come into focus.

  She was standing in the Alpha’s home.

  Her mate’s home.

  Alone.

  Her pulse quickened, but she didn’t lower her head. She didn’t feel the need like she did with so many other dominants, and that had to be due to who Gideon was to her…or at least who he could be.

  Goddess she hoped she wasn’t making the wrong choice.

  “I take it you heard that the elders have forced my hand.”

  “They didn’t give you a choice really,” she answered, not liking the way he wouldn’t look at her.

  He snorted then lifted her chin with his knuckle. She sucked in a breath, the heat of his touch intoxicating. His gaze me hers, and her wolf howled.

  Mate.

  “It’s either mate a woman who means nothing more to me than being a member of a Pack or a woman I don’t know. Not much of a choice, anyway.”

  She didn’t flinch, but damned if she wanted to. “You need a mate, and it seems fate has provided you one. I’m here so you don’t have to go against your wolf.”

  There. That sounded better than please, take me and never let me go.

  He brought up his other hand and brushed his thumb against her cheek. “Mating isn’t for the faint of heart, little wolf.”

  She didn’t pull back, nor did she move into his hold. “And you would know, how?”

  His mouth twitched. “Touché. You’re willing to give up everything you know to mate an Alpha, a man you’ve hardly spoken to. A man who is at least a hundred years older.”

  She swallowed hard but didn’t move her gaze from his. “I’m willing to follow my fate and trust in the moon goddess.” Again, she prayed that she wasn’t making a mistake.

  “You don’t know me. You don’t love me. I don’t love you.”

  She didn’t flinch, but it was close. “No, there’s no love, and frankly, I don’t even know if I like you. How can I when I’ve only seen you from afar? But in order for you to fully protect your Pack, you need a mate. Why hurt yourself and your Pack worse by mating someone you can’t form a true bond with? Witch magic isn’t the same as wolf magic. A bond formed from something outside the goddess won’t help you the way a true bond will.”

  He nodded, his thumb still brushing her skin. Did he know how much his touch soothed her and made her ache all at the same time? Her body heated, yet she was scared to do anything more right then.

  His voice lowered, and she pressed her lips together as he spoke. “You’re a submissive, Brie. How are you going to be able to protect the Pack if you can’t fight for it?”

  Her hands once again fisted at her sides, but she didn’t growl. “You, above all people, know the value of a submissive in a Pack. I don’t need to make another bleed to show my worth. I can fight if I need to, but I can also show the compassion and soothing that are required to make a Pack healthy.”

  He nodded, this time his thumb brushing against her lip. It took everything in her not to lick the tip and suck it into her mouth.

  “The Pack might not accept you. Are you ready to deal with that? I will never treat you like you aren’t wanted because that’s not the kind of man I am, but I cannot force the Pack to love you. If I do that, you lose all credibility.”

  “I get it. I’ll have to fight—in any way I can—for my position.”

  He let out a breath then ran a hand down her arm. “Your family is going to kill me.”

  She shook her head, her heart warming again. She was already becoming addicted to his touch and it had only been a few short moments. It had to be the mating urge and hopefully this…ache would tone down eventually. “No, they won’t. They’ve all been through their own issues with mating. Ours will just be a little different.”

  He closed his eyes and pulled away. Her heart ached, and she felt cold at the loss. “I can’t let the elders think they have control over me. It’s too dangerous out there for our Pack to be fighting within itself.”

  “Then mate with me and let me help you with that burden.”

  “I’m not good with sharing.”

  She took a step toward him and placed her hand on his chest. His heart beat against her palm, and she licked her lips. The fact that he didn’t pull away spoke volumes. Or at least that’s what she told herself.

  “I’ll be your mate, Gideon Brentwood. I’ll do my best to be the mate you need, the mate the Pack needs.”

  “I hope you don’t regret this, little wolf.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t regret it. If I did, then it’s not a choice worth making.”

  With that, she stood on her tiptoes and brought her lips to his. He stiffened for a moment then wrapped one arm around her waist and placed a hand on the back of her head.

  She gasped then parted her lips, letting his tongue tangle with hers. He growled, nipping at her lips, taking control of the kiss. Her shoulders melted, her body sinking into his. He tasted of spice, power, and a future she couldn’t see.

  When he pulled back, they were both breathless, and she could feel the hard ridge of his cock against her belly.

  At least his body wanted her.

  His heart, though, would be another matter.

  He cupped her face and studied her. “I suppose that sealed the deal,” he said, his voice a deep rasp.

  She swallowed hard, his taste burned forever on her tongue. “I suppose it did.”

  Her fate was locked with his, entwined around a promise and an uncertainty.

  She only prayed she hadn’t made the biggest mistake of her life. Because no matter how much the idea of a Pack despising her scared her, it wasn’t the worst thing that could happen.

  No, the fact that she didn’t have Gideon’s heart was the one thing that could break her.

  And when he pulled away again to catch his breath, she had a feeling she’d be broken long before she could figure out the next step. Some things were out of her control, and those were the ones that hurt the worst.

  Or at least that’s what she feared.

  Chapter Five

  Gideon had been wrong. He wouldn’t die by a betrayal or by something out of his control. No, today he was going to die at the hands of an Alpha and a former Beta who wanted his blood for daring to touch their precious little princess.

  He ran a hand over his head and wondered how the hell he’d been put in this position. Was it really less than a week ago that he’d been worrying about lone wolves trying to attack his den and hiding his people from the humans? He was still worrying about all of that, but now, he had a whole
new set of demands and problems tacked on to those.

  Not that he wanted to call Brie a problem, but what else was he supposed to call her?

  The elders had forced his hand, and she had offered herself up like a sacrificial virgin, not knowing she was tempting the beast that lurked beneath his skin.

  He froze.

  She wasn’t a virgin, was she?

  She had to be in her thirties if he was doing the math correctly. There was no way someone that beautiful, someone with so much spirit, would be untouched. If she was, well, the wolves in her den were fucking idiots.

  The thought of any of those wolves laying a hand on her made his fists clench, and he had to force himself to relax. Getting jealous over men he’d never met, picturing his future mate tumbling between the sheets with them, wasn’t going to help his mood.

  In fact, this was all so fucking crazy he felt as though he had no idea what he was doing. That was just par for the course these days.

  He finished doing the buttons on his shirt then tugged on his sleeves. He didn’t like wearing button-down shirts with long sleeves, but he’d wanted to at least try to look nice.

  After all, today was his mating ceremony. These things didn’t come around often.

  He let out a sigh and tried to remember why he was doing this.

  The elders had forced his hand, and rather than mate with Iona in a bond that would never be whole and could eventually hurt the Pack rather than better it, he’d been offered a choice. He knew he shouldn’t have said he’d found a potential mate when he’d met with the elders, but he hadn’t been able to help himself. In all reality, he’d thought he’d be able to find a way out, but that was only a small chance.

  Infinitesimal really.

  Then, of course, his family and Quinn had meddled, and Brie had come to him, rather than him finding a way to be a fucking Alpha and go to her. The bond they made would be a true one, real enough and blessed by the goddess, so his wolf would be appeased and so would the elders.