Steam and Ink Page 7

  As the match dropped and her body caught fire, she woke up, her chest pounding, her sweat-slick body shaking so much she thought she’d fall out of bed.

  On unsteady legs, she made her way to the bathroom. She barely had time to flip open the toilet lid before she emptied her stomach, the acid burning up her throat. By the time her nerves settled, she was sure she’d lost any food she’d had the day before and the only thing she’d do next was dry heave. God, how she hated that.

  She flushed the toilet, wiped the lid with a bleach wipe she had on hand, then stood on somewhat steadier legs. After she brushed her teeth and washed her face with cool water, she was finally ready to wake up fully.

  The nightmares had plagued her for years with the latter part of the dream showing up more often than not recently. Those shadows had been the reason she’d left for Edgewater and Denver to begin with. Not that she’d voice that aloud. She didn’t want to say she’d run from her problems, but staying there and taking them with no ability to defeat them hadn’t helped her. It had only made things so unbearable she’d been unable to heal fully.

  Not that she was sure she’d ever be able to heal.

  Her fingers skimmed the puckered skin and pale white lines along her side, but now that she was free of the chains that had bound her for so long, she might be able to find a way to live with the scars that marred her body as well as her soul.

  She met her gaze in the mirror and cursed herself for trying to push herself too hard too fast. Wasn’t it enough that she’d moved to a new place? She’d opened a business, one she loved that would hopefully succeed. She even went to her consult with Austin for a tattoo to help ink around the scar that had marked her for so long.

  Yet Austin was precisely the problem.

  He’d stepped on her toes and pushed something within her to the front. She wanted him, and she didn’t know what to do about it. She wasn’t ready for a man so large, so strong when she knew she wasn’t sure about anything anymore.

  Then he’d asked to take her for a ride, and she panicked like someone had thrown her into a tank full of sharks. He’d seen the pain in her eyes, the panic in her gaze, and hadn’t thought twice about taking back his offer. He must think she was weak, though he hadn’t said as much. She hated being weak. She’d been that way for so long she wasn’t sure how to be anything else.

  At least that’s how it seemed.

  Damn it. She wasn’t that person anymore, but she also knew her limits. Going on a ride wasn’t on the list of things she needed to do right then. The nightmares had gotten worse in the days since Austin mentioned it. Maybe once she got her tattoo and Eden had been open for longer than a week, she’d be able to do it. Throwing herself into fifty changes at once wasn’t helping anyone. She might be the type of person who needed to raise her chin and get on with life, but she knew better than anyone when enough was enough.

  She’d just call Austin and cancel the ride.

  The sliver of disappointment that slid through her surprised her. Was it the idea of riding itself that she wanted? Or the fact she’d have to wrap herself around Austin’s strong body in the process?

  Her breasts ached at the thought, her nipples hardening.

  Austin was a big man with an even bigger presence. The idea that after so long being alone and not finding another man she wanted made her think. Throw in the fact this man was so attractive physically and emotionally that she wanted more than a casual date or two and she was a goner...

  It wasn’t that Austin wasn’t good enough for her—God no. She wasn’t the type who thought beards, tattoos, and the dangerous look of leather were somehow a representation of who a person was. In the grand scheme of things, it honestly didn’t matter, but she also knew that Austin had more hidden depths than she was ready to deal with.

  In her mind, she could feel his calloused hands on her skin, the roughness of his beard on her inner thighs as he feasted on her. She let out a shaky breath. She needed to keep Austin out of the forefront of her mind. She had so many other things to think about, to worry about, that wanting Austin in her bed and in her life shouldn’t be so high on the list.

  She also knew Austin had his own worries. She’d never met the senior Montgomery, but her heart ached for him and his family. Cancer was such a scary word, and even though the media talked about it now more than they had before, the public still didn’t know enough about it to truly understand.

  She’d done some research on prostate cancer when Austin told her about his father. She knew it was so far out of her scope and probably very invasive of her, but she wanted to know what Austin would be going through as a son and what Harry would be going through as a patient. Not that reading a few lines on a computer connected her to the family in any way, but it was a step in a direction she wasn’t sure she should take.

  Austin had said he didn’t know much about the prognosis or even what stage his father was at because he’d been too dazed to really comprehend. She just prayed the cancer had been caught early enough that the Gleason grading was low. If Austin was still too worried to research or deal, then she’d be able to help him that much anyway. It was the least she could do for him after she freaked out over the ride and his hands on her skin.

  Speaking of the ride, she needed to call Austin and cancel. It hurt to think about, but she wasn’t ready, and she knew it. Sitting on the back of a bike while having a panic attack would be downright dangerous, and no matter how slow Austin might go for her, she wouldn’t risk their lives because she had to push herself.

  She quickly showered and dressed for her day. She didn’t open that day because it was Jasinda’s turn to open and Becca’s to close, but Sierra never had a true day off from Eden—even in the planning stages. And she loved it.

  It gave her purpose.

  She glanced down at her phone then stuck it in her purse. Instead of calling, she’d tell him face to face that she couldn’t go. He deserved that much, and then she’d be able to see him.

  Damn it, she needed to stop acting like a dreamy-eyed schoolgirl.

  Once she finished her makeup and put her hair up in a bun at the base of her neck, she headed out to Eden. She lived in Edgewater, a little square ’burb of Denver that sat right against the city proper. If she stood on her street, she could even see downtown easily. While the small ’burb was nice, her apartment wasn’t. In fact, the building was rundown, sketchy, and full of drug dealers who were very nice to her for some reason, but it was cheap.

  She’d put her heart, soul, and bank account into Eden, and the rent in Edgewater was all she could afford. Hopefully after the one-year lease ended, she could find a better place to live where she didn’t feel the need to lock her windows at night even when the air conditioner was broken.

  By the time she made it to downtown and parked in the special lot behind Montgomery Ink—how they’d lucked into that she’d never know—she had convinced herself she’d meet with Austin for two minutes and leave without feeling anything special.

  She didn’t want to want him; she didn’t have time for that. She barely had time for her daily life to begin with. Instead of heading directly to see Austin, she went to Eden first. She’d talk to him during the lunch break the girls forced her to take daily. That way she had an excuse to rush back afterward and not get caught up in his gaze. Not that she would get caught up in his gaze. She was stronger than that.

  Maybe.

  The girls weren’t surprised she was there an hour earlier than scheduled. A couple hours passed quickly as she rang up purchases and helped customers find their perfect outfit or special nightie. Her goal was to be as personal as she could get without freaking her guests out. She had a gift, as the girls called it, to find out exactly what someone needed. Whether it be a scarf, a cocktail dress, or a special push-up bra that a woman’s partner could take off with their teeth, Sierra could usually find the perfect match. There was nothing better than watching a pleased customer leave her shop with a hop in their step. That me
ant not only were they happy, but they might come back and shop again. Perfect.

  Her phone chirped quietly and she excused herself from the counter where Jasinda was ringing up a purchase. She’d set the alarm to force herself to go over and speak with Austin. Jasinda had already taken her break while Becky had just arrived, so it would be Sierra’s turn.

  She said her goodbyes, telling them she’d be right back. From the looks on her girls’ faces, she had a feeling they knew exactly where she was heading first. How they could possibly know that, Sierra wasn’t sure, but she ignored them. She had a job to do. First, she’d say no to Austin as calmly as she could and back out of their date. Because it was a date. From the sparks between them and the look in his eyes when he’d asked—no, told her that he would take her for a ride on the back of his bike, their outing couldn’t be construed as anything but a date.

  The bell over the door rang as she walked in. Callie sat on a stool behind the computer, a sketchpad in her lap, her head bent over her drawing. She looked up with a scowl that turned into a bright smile.

  “Hey, Sierra. Austin is in the back sketching. He just finished with a client, so he should be free for you.”

  “He’s free,” Maya said on Sierra’s other side.

  Sierra studied Austin’s sister and couldn’t tell if Maya was happy he was free or not. The woman didn’t smile, but smirked, her eyes twinkling. Sure, that could be happiness in there, or maybe she wanted to push Sierra over a bridge or something. The other woman came off as abrasive, but from the way Austin had spoken of her, Sierra knew there was more to her than the piercings, tattoos, and attitude.

  “I’ll just head on back then,” Sierra said coolly. When she didn’t know how to act in a certain situation, she always reverted to the ice princess. It never failed to keep people at a distance—well, almost never failed. Austin was another matter altogether.

  “Do that then, princess,” Maya said, just as coolly.

  Well then. Sierra knew exactly where she stood. And, honestly, she didn’t care.

  “Stop being a bitch, Maya,” Callie called out. “You’re just in a mood because Jake is out of town.”

  “Is Jake your boyfriend then?” Sierra asked and could have immediately smacked herself. Why was she asking personal questions of a woman who clearly didn’t want Sierra to have anything to do with her brother?

  “He’s just a friend,” Maya said with another smirk. “Jake and I don’t need to have sex to be in the same room. Unlike some people I know.”

  “Bitch,” Callie sneered then smiled. “Go on back, Sierra. He’s just in the office.”

  Sierra looked between the two women then made her way to Austin. She didn’t know exactly what was going on, but she had enough on her plate as it was. When she made it to the office, she stopped and held back a sigh.

  Austin had his head bent over his sketch, his forearm flexing as he drew. His side was to her, and she could see the long lines of his body bunched in the chair—a lion ready to strike.

  His head whipped around to face as her as she let out that sigh. When his gaze reached hers, he smiled, and another bit of that sadness that had been present in his eyes when he told her of his family went away. If she could do that for him, then maybe it would all be worth it.

  “Hey, I didn’t know you were stopping by today.” He stood up, those long legs of his stretching out his jeans nicely.

  Not that she was staring at his jeans. Much.

  She licked her lips, holding back a blush as his eyes darkened when she did so. Damn it. She wasn’t some naive virgin. Oh, hell no. The things she’d done, the things she’d craved…well, she wasn’t an innocent. She shouldn’t be blushing at a man when he stared at her. She was stronger than that.

  Centering herself, she rolled her shoulders back. “I just came by to say in person that I don’t think I’ll be able to ride with you.” Why hadn’t she done this over the phone? It would’ve been so much easier, but she wanted to do it face-to-face so she wouldn’t be rude. Plus, she wanted to see him because she couldn’t get his face out of her dreams and his presence out of her system.

  Damn Austin Montgomery.

  Austin frowned, moving toward her. She forced herself not to take a step back. She wouldn’t run. Not anymore. But she didn’t know if she could keep up the denial if he got any closer.

  He ended up standing right in front of her, so close she could feel the heat of his body. The act reminded her of her dream of Jason, and she held back a shudder. It wouldn’t do her any good to compare the two men. Her past and her…whatever this would end up being.

  His hand came up so he gripped her chin. He searched her face, and she just stared up at him, unsure of what to do or say next. He hadn’t spoken, and it threw her for a loop.

  “Okay, Sierra,” he said finally, his voice low, deep. So deep it went straight to her core, and she had to keep from sighing. Again. “If you don’t feel like you’re ready to ride yet, then we won’t.”

  She let out the breath she wasn’t aware she’d been holding. “Thanks, Austin. I’m sure we’ll see each other around then.” What was she doing? That hadn’t been the plan. Or had it? Honestly, she didn’t even know what her plan was anymore. She wanted him, she was clear on that much, but she wasn’t sure she could handle more. This wishy-washy thought process wasn’t doing her any favors. She needed to buck up and either give in fully or step back.

  Taking half steps would only hurt her in the end. Didn’t she know that? Hadn’t she lived that?

  “Oh really? I don’t think so. That’s not how this is going to play, Legs.”

  “Excuse me?” The ice was back in her voice, but she didn’t know how to control it, not when he was so large and…Austin around her.

  “You don’t want to ride? Fine. I get that you aren’t ready, and I don’t want to force you into something you aren’t comfortable with. Hopefully, you’ll be able to talk about it soon, and we can figure out how to get you on the back of a bike. Because, Sierra, you want to. I saw the look in your eyes after the fear. You want to ride again, and we’ll figure out a way to make that happen.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “So, you know what I’m thinking, do you?” She didn’t like it when people made decisions for her. Not at all.

  “Yeah. In this case, I do. I’m not saying I know everything. Far from it. But I get this. Now, on that note, just because we aren’t riding doesn’t mean you’re out of my life for good. You get me? We’re going to date, or whatever, or find a way to see each other again because I want you, Sierra. And from the way you licked your lips and looked at me when you first walked in, you want me too. I get that, right?”

  “Bastard,” she mumbled. “I don’t like this alpha thing.”

  He brushed his thumb over her lips. “Yeah, Legs. Yeah you do. Now, I’m going to pick you up tomorrow for lunch. Sound good? A real date and all that shit.”

  “So romantic.” Yet she didn’t pull away. Couldn’t pull away. “You think you can just tell me we’re going on a date?”

  He grinned at her. “I asked you, didn’t tell you. I could have told you, and I think from the look in your eyes, you might have liked it just as much.”

  How could he see that deep inside? How could he know what she’d been in the past? It had to be just her imagination. That wasn’t who she was anymore anyway.

  “Fine. Dinner. I’ll text you my address.”

  He smiled full-out then, leaving her breathless. Damn man. “Good, baby. Good.” He lowered his head; she knew what he was going to do.

  And she let him.

  His lips brushed hers, once, twice. She closed her eyes, melting into him. He reached up and cupped her neck and the back of her head. She moaned, parting her lips. His tongue tangled with hers as he deepened he kiss.

  This kiss, this man. Oh, God was he potent…dangerous.

  He pulled back when she would have begged for more. Only the promise in his gaze stopped her.

  “We’ll do that ag
ain soon, Legs. I promise you.”

  That was exactly what she was afraid of.

  Chapter 8

  Austin winced as his phone buzzed on the kitchen counter. He hadn’t heard from Shannon in four days, and it was starting to scare him. Hopefully she’d back off, but who knew with her? He hadn’t thought she was that possessive and monumentally crazy when they’d gone out, but apparently, he hadn’t looked too deeply beneath the surface.

  A mistake he wouldn’t be making again.

  He looked at the readout and saw a text from Miranda letting him know that dinner was off because she had a date.

  A date?

  Seriously? Who the fuck was dating his sweet, innocent baby sister? She was only…wait, she was twenty-three. He didn’t even want to think about what he’d been doing at twenty-three, but, shit, Miranda shouldn’t be dating.

  He closed his eyes and prayed for patience. Meghan was married and had kids. Maya was out and doing only God knew what since she was proud of her body and sexuality. Her words. Not his.

  He should get over it and let Miranda date. Not that she needed permission, per se…

  Austin rolled his tongue over his teeth. Nope. Not gonna happen. He quickly texted back that no, that would not be okay, and she should cancel her date. He didn’t add that she could cancel all dates, but that would be implied.

  He was a force to be reckoned with and authoritative. She would listen.

  When his phone buzzed again, and he looked at the response, he cursed.

  No can do, big brother. I’m dating. Get over it. Love you! XoXo

  Didn’t his sister know anything? He was the eldest brother. His siblings should listen to him. He closed his eyes and knew it would be a lost cause. Plus, now he could see if his lunch date with Sierra could turn into something more.

  It was Sunday, and they both had the day off, meaning they’d planned to spend the afternoon together. He already had plans with his sister beforehand or he would have made a dinner date with Sierra in the first place.